Acceptance
by Black-Neko-Chan
Summary: How do you accept that the person you love most in the world has died?


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. If I did, it would be A LOT different.

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Lee throws one more punch at the tree trunk and then sits on the ground. He picks up the water bottle Tenten gave him this morning and takes a swig of water. He feels very tired and he doesn't understand why because he hasn't been training for a very long time.

Lee closes his eyes for a moment and thinks about this. Recently he has been feeling very tired and down, which is unusual for Lee. His teammates and Gai sensei had noticed also and they tried to make him feel better, but it hadn't worked, which was almost as surprising as the fact that Lee was feeling down in the first place.

He has been feeling like this for a few days and he can't understand why. Nothing had happened to make him feel this way, he just woke up like it. Lee hasn't heard from Gaara in a while, and he thinks that might be the reason, but Gaara don't often write letters, and so it can be months before he hears from him. All of the other times he has never felt like this, so he doesn't understand why he would now.

Lee opens his eyes and sees that Naruto is walking up to him. He gets up and waves and smiles, but Naruto does not respond with either.

"Hello Naruto!" Lee greets warmly. Naruto shuffles a bit and looks at the ground.

"Hey Lee," He says. He is quite and seems nervous, which is unlike Naruto. Maybe, Lee thinks, it's not just him who is feeling strangely.

"I've got something for you. Here," Naruto says as he takes a letter from his pocket. He hands it to Lee and is silent. Lee reads quietly. It is a note from Temari and Kankuro.

"Is this a joke?" Lee asks.

"I wish it was. It seems like it should be. I'm sorry Lee, but it's the truth," Naruto says. Lee looks at the note again. It can't be the truth, He thinks to himself. There's no way that this could be true.

Lee looks up at Naruto again and opens his mouth to say something but Naruto cuts him off.

"It's the truth Lee. Gaara is dead. I don't want to think of it as the truth either, but it is. I'm sorry Lee," Naruto says. He stands there for a moment and then gives Lee a sad look and walks away.

Lee sits back on the ground with his back to the tree stump. He looks at the note for another few seconds and then laughs. This note is false and he knows it is. Gaara isn't dead. Gaara couldn't die. He was too strong, he wouldn't just die. Lee looked at the note again and read further down. It also said that he had been killed. That was even more unbelievable. No one could kill Gaara. This note was definitely false. With that thought in mind Lee put the note on the ground and then got up and left it there, feeling better than before.

While he is walking back to his apartment Lee runs into Sakura. She looks a little sad and stops in front of him.

"I'm sorry Lee. Naruto told me about what happened," Sakura says.

"What are you sorry for?" Lee asks with a smile. Sakura seems puzzled by his attitude but continues.

"He told me that Gaara died. I know that you and Gaara were... Well, I'm sorry. I know how bad you must be feeling. When Sasuke left I felt so bad also, but he's never came back and I still feel a little sad sometimes, and I guess that's natural, but other than that I'm fine. I'm sure you'll feel sad for a while, but then you'll get better also," Sakura says and she smiles at Lee.

"I'm not sad though!" Lee says. He looks at Sakura and she seems puzzled again.

"What I mean is that Gaara's not dead, so I don't need to be sad," Lee explains.

"But... I thought Naruto said...," Sakura starts to say.

"Naruto is wrong. Gaara's alive and he's fine. I know he is," Lee says and walks away, leaving Sakura standing alone by herself, trying to understand what Lee was talking about.

The day continues and almost everyone that Lee sees tells him how sorry they are that Gaara is dead. And then everyone that says that is told by Lee that Gaara isn't dead and they end up just as confused as Sakura.

At night Lee climbs into his bed and lays down. For a moment he feels immense sadness and thinks that just maybe Gaara is dead, however impossible that seems. Everyone dies, no matter how strong they are. And the letter was from Temari and Kankuro. Why would they lie about their brother?

"Maybe... Gaara is dead," Lee says out loud. He feels unbearable sadness and dispels that thought from his head. Gaara is fine, Lee says to himself and then he goes to sleep.

The next day and the day after that whenever Lee goes outside it seems that more and more people are telling him how sorry they are, and it makes him madder and madder until he wants to scream at them all that Gaara isn't dead.

Gaara isn't dead and he can't be dead. There's no way that he could have been killed by someone because he's so strong. This is what Lee tells himself, but every time someone tells him differently it becomes harder and harder for him to believe this.

Eventually Lee stays away from everyone that tells him that Gaara is dead and trains all day. This is what he did before, and so this is what he will do again. But now whenever Lee trains it seems so much harder, just like everything else.

"Hey Lee." Lee stops training and turns around to see Naruto.

"You've been training too hard lately. Why don't we go get some ramen?" Naruto asks.

"Sure," Lee says. Maybe ramen would help him get his mind off of Gaara. Or at least that is what Lee hopes. They reach the ramen house and take a seat. Everyone that is in there seems to get quieter when they see Lee.

Naruto orders and so does Lee. They eat for a while, and when Naruto is on his second bowl he starts talking.

"You know Lee, you've been saying that Gaara isn't dead. Why? We all don't want to accept that, but we have to because if we don't it'll just hurt us even more. Why don't you just accept that he's gone?" Naruto asks.

"Because Gaara isn't gone. He's alive and he's in Suna," Lee says.

"No he's not Lee. Why can't you just see that? You're really making everyone worry about you you know," Naruto says.. Lee doesn't respond.

"Fine, be that way. Maybe you need to see for yourself. The funeral is going to be held in a few days. You should go. You can see for yourself if Gaara is dead or not," Naruto says.

"Fine, I'll go. And I'll see that Gaara is fine," Lee says.

"It would be a lot easier if you'd just accept it and not go through this you know," Naruto says. Lee again doesn't say anything and he leaves the table. Naruto sighs and finishes his ramen, then pays and leaves.

The next day Lee wakes early. He said that he would go to Suna, and so he was going to. He'd see himself like Naruto suggested, and then he'd be able to show everyone that Gaara was fine, that he wasn't dead.

For the next three days Lee travels on his way to Suna. He is alone with himself and again wonders if there is a chance that Gaara really could be dead. Once he reaches the desert it is even harder for him to say that Gaara is alive, and when Lee finally reaches Suna he realizes that he is wrong, but he still cannot accept Gaara's death until he sees the body. So he finds a hotel and stays there until it is the day of the funeral.

Lee yawns and wakes up. He feels tired and depressed and sad. Today is the day of the funeral. He looks at the clock beside the bed and sees that it has already started. He quietly curses, which surprises himself and he realizes that he had wanted to miss the funeral so he wouldn't have to see the body.

After procrastinating until the funeral is almost over, Lee dresses and heads out. The place where the funeral is taking place is obvious to find because there are many people there to mourn the death of their Kazekage. Most of them are leaving and even more have probably left, but there are still quite a few people.

Lee pushes his way to the front of the crowd so that he can see the coffin. The lid is open and as Lee walks up to it he can see Gaara.

His normally pale skin looks even paler and the black rings around his eyes seem even more prominent, as well as his hair. Despite his appearance Lee still thinks he looks beautiful. He always did and now is no different.

He stands there for what seems to be hours until he has to move. Strong men close the coffin and then sprinkle something on it. The coffin lights on purple flames. The flames dance around the coffin, not burning it as they lick the wood. The flames dance for a few moments and then the coffin and the body inside explode into millions of particles of sand. The sand is carried away on the breeze, and then Gaara of the Sand is no more.

The funeral is over then and just as Lee is going to leave he hears his voice being called. He turns around and sees Temari and Kankuro. Temari's eyes are red and it looks like she has been crying. Kankuro looks sad also, but he hasn't been crying like Temari.

"We thought you wouldn't come," Kankuro says.

"I didn't think I was going to either," Lee admits.

"Well, I'm sure that Gaara... would be happy that you came," Temari said.

"Yeah," Lee says, "Well I think I'm gonna leave now."

"Why don't we walk you back?" Kankuro suggests. Temari and Kankuro join Lee and they silently walk to the hotel Lee is staying at. Once they reach the hotel Temari and Kankuro say goodbye and leave. Lee enters his room and lays on the bed.

He feels exhausted and tired. He feels sad, but he knows that the sadness he feels now will be worse later. He lays down on the bed and falls asleep.

There is a knock on Lee's door and he opens it to see Temari and Kankuro standing there.

"Sorry if we woke you up, but we wanted to give you something," Temari says after they are let in. She takes something out of her pocket and hands it to Lee. Lee takes it and sees that it is Gaara's headband.

"We thought that you would want it," Kankuro said.

"Thank you, but don't you think that you might still want it?" Lee asks.

"Now, we have a lot of things still left over to remind us of him. You take it," Temari says.

"Thank you," Lee says.

"It's no problem," Kankuro says.

"Gaara really loved you Lee. He loved you more than anyone else," Temari says. She put her head down a little bit and almost starts to cry but she stops herself.

"We were thinking that maybe we could all go eat or something," Kankuro says. Lee looks at Gaara's headband in his hand and then looks back up at Temari and Kankuro.

"Yes, we could do that," Lee says.

"Okay, we'll meet tomorrow then. It's late, so I guess we'll be going back home now," Kankuro says.

"Bye Lee," Temari says. They both leave then and Lee is left alone. He takes one look at the sand headband in his hands and all of the emotions he has been hiding inside of himself for the past few days burst and he is crying.

Lee holds the headband against his chest and wishes that somehow it could bring Gaara back so he can see him one last time, so he can say goodbye to him, so he can hold him and tell him for the last time how much he loves him, but Lee knows that Gaara can never come back. No matter how much he is missed, no matter how much Lee loves him. Gaara is dead and can never, and will never come back.

Lee lies on the bed, still crying and holding onto the headband and curses fate and everything around him for taking Gaara away. Eventually he cries himself to sleep.

Halfway through the night Lee wakes up because of the dreams he has been having. Horrible dreams where he will never see Gaara again and dreams where Gaara is killed in front of his eyes and he is not able to help. He used to have dreams somewhat like this, but a lot less worse. Whenever he would wake up Gaara would comfort him, but Gaara was no longer here to comfort him. His nightmares had come true.

Lee tries to go back to sleep but whenever he tries he sees Gaara dying in front of him and asking for his help, and he is not able to.

Lee gets up and he wanders outside. He looks up at the moon and tells himself that wherever Gaara is, he's probably happier there. Wherever he is, he no longer needs to be tortured by his past, he can be happy, he can even finally sleep. Although Lee knows that this is probably true, it doesn't help to rid him of his sadness. It does help him become calmer though, and more accepting of what happened.

Later Lee meets up with Temari and Kankuro and they go to a restaurant and eat. They talk about Gaara and Lee finds out just how bad Gaara's life was. Gaara had told him about his past once, but he didn't explain as well as Temari and Kankuro, and he didn't talk about it often.

Lee talks about Gaara as well, and all three of them leave feeling better than before. Lee understands that earlier he had been right; wherever Gaara was he was happier. Lee spends the rest of the day with Temari and Kankuro and he is able to forget his sadness.

At night Lee wakes up again. It isn't because of dreams again like it was last night, but it is because he felt calm, and oddly enough, he feels happy. Lee walks to the window and opens it up. The moon is shining brightly.

A strong breeze blows into the window, carrying particles of sand with it. The sand slowly starts to form together and begins to take a human form. The form takes shape more and starts to look like Gaara. The sand finally stops and Gaara is standing in front of Lee.

Lee knows that this is not the real Gaara; he is dead. Last night if this had happened Lee would have been so happy to know that Gaara wasn't dead, but now Lee is able to accept that Gaara is dead and so that is how he know's that this isn't Gaara.

The sand Gaara walks up to Lee and hugs him. He hugs Lee and presses his lips to Lee's and for a second Lee can feel real lips against his, he can feel warmth coming from the body he is hugging. The kiss ends and Gaara and Lee look at each other.

"I love you," Lee says. The sand Gaara does not respond, but he nods his head and Lee knows that Gaara will always be with him, and he will always love him.

"Goodbye," Lee says. The sand Gaara loses it's form and the sand swirls in the air around Lee.

"Goodbye. I love you Lee." Gaara's voice echos around Lee, and then the sand flies out of the window. Lee watches it leave, and now he truly does feel peace and he knows that Gaara is happy, and now he will be happy as well.

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Okay, so that was my story. Thank you for reading it, and I know that it might have been a little annoying because it was in 1st person, but I wanted to try writing like that, so thank you to everyone that reads, and presents to everyone who reviews!


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